Obedience is not a dirty word…

Introduction

In contemporary society, the term "obedience" often carries negative connotations. It is frequently associated with submission, control, and a loss of personal freedom. However, within the context of the Catholic faith, particularly through the lens of the Rule of St. Benedict and the rich monastic tradition, obedience emerges as a profound expression of love, humility, and community. This blog will explore the multifaceted nature of obedience, its essential role in spiritual growth and its relevance to the sacrament of marriage. By examining the teachings of St. Benedict, Catholic doctrine, and scriptural foundations, we will uncover how obedience can be a source of strength and unity rather than a burden.

What does Obedience actually mean?

Etymology….

Understanding Obedience in the Monastic Tradition

The Rule of St. Benedict, written in the 6th century, serves as a foundational text for monastic life. At its core, the Rule emphasizes the importance of obedience as a pathway to humility and spiritual growth. St. Benedict begins his teachings on obedience with a clear directive: "The first degree of humility is obedience without delay"1. This statement encapsulates the essence of monastic obedience, which is not merely about following orders but about responding to God's call with a willing heart.

In the monastic community, obedience is seen as a means of fostering harmony and unity among the brethren. St. Benedict instructs that obedience should not only be rendered to the Abbot but also among the monks themselves: "The service of obedience by all is not to be rendered to the Abbot only, but the Brethren shall also mutually obey each other"2. In this we can immediately see that St Benedict understood obedience to be sometheing more than just following orders from the superior. This mutual obedience creates a spirit of charity and respect, allowing the community to flourish in faith and love.

Obedience in the monastic tradition is deeply intertwined with the concept of discernment. Monks are called to listen attentively to the voice of God, which is often communicated through their superiors. This listening requires a deep trust in God's providence and a willingness to set aside personal desires for the greater good of the community. As St. Benedict notes, "He that heareth you, heareth me"3, emphasizing that obedience to superiors is ultimately obedience to God.

The Spiritual Discipline of Obedience

Obedience, as understood in the monastic context, is not a mere external compliance to rules; it is a spiritual discipline that leads to deeper faith and connection with God. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that "to obey in faith is to submit freely to the word that has been heard, because its truth is guaranteed by God"4. This understanding of obedience invites individuals to embrace it as an act of faith, trusting that God's will is ultimately for their good.

The lives of the saints provide powerful examples of this kind of obedience. Saints such as St. Francis of Assisi and St. Teresa of Avila exemplified a radical commitment to following God's call, often at great personal cost. Their obedience was not a sign of weakness but rather a testament to their profound love for God and their desire to serve others. In this light, obedience becomes a source of strength, enabling individuals to transcend their limitations and grow in holiness.

Scriptural Foundations of Obedience

The importance of obedience is deeply rooted in Scripture. Throughout the Bible, we find numerous examples of individuals who responded to God's call with obedience. One of the most striking examples is that of Abraham, who is often referred to as the "father of all who believe." His willingness to leave his homeland and follow God's command exemplifies the obedience of faith: "By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went out, not knowing where he was going" (Hebrews 11:8) 5. This radical trust in God's plan serves as a model for all believers.

The Virgin Mary, too, embodies perfect obedience. Her response to the angel Gabriel, "Let it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38) 6, illustrates her complete surrender to God's will. Mary's obedience not only changed the course of history but also serves as a powerful reminder of the transformative power of saying "yes" to God.

In the New Testament, St. Paul emphasizes the importance of obedience within the Christian community. He writes, "Let every soul be subject to higher powers: for there is no power but from God" (Romans 13:1) 7. This call to obedience extends beyond the individual to the community, highlighting the interconnectedness of believers and the necessity of mutual respect and submission.

Obedience in the Context of Marriage

The concept of obedience takes on a unique dimension within the sacrament of marriage. In Ephesians 5, St. Paul instructs, "Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22) 8. This passage has often been misinterpreted as a call for women to submit unconditionally to their husbands. However, a deeper understanding reveals that this mutual submission is rooted in love and respect.

The call to obedience in marriage is not about dominance or control; rather, it is an invitation to cultivate a relationship characterized by mutual support and self-giving. St. John Paul II, in his teachings on the family, emphasized that "the family is the original cell of social life" and that "husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life" 9. This self-giving love is the foundation of a healthy marriage, where both partners are called to serve one another.

In a Christian marriage, obedience is expressed through a commitment to the well-being of the spouse and the family. This means prioritizing the needs of the other and making sacrifices for the sake of love. As St. Benedict teaches, true obedience is not done out of fear or obligation but arises from a heart that desires to serve God and others. This perspective transforms the notion of obedience from a burden into a joyful expression of love.

The Transformative Power of Obedience

Embracing obedience can have a transformative effect on relationships, fostering deeper love and creating a supportive environment for growth. In a marriage where both partners practice obedience to one another, there is a profound sense of trust and security. Each spouse becomes a source of strength for the other, enabling them to navigate life's challenges together.

Personal testimonies from couples who have embraced the call to obedience within their marriage often reveal the profound impact it has had on their relationship. Many couples report that by prioritizing their spouse's needs and desires, they have experienced a deeper sense of intimacy and connection. This mutual self-giving creates a space where both partners can flourish, both individually and as a couple.

Moreover, the practice of obedience within marriage extends beyond the couple to their children. Parents who model obedience and selflessness create an environment where children learn the value of love and service. This foundation of faith and virtue equips children to navigate their own relationships in the future, perpetuating a cycle of love and obedience that strengthens families and communities.

Challenges to Embracing Obedience

Despite its many benefits, embracing obedience can be challenging. In a culture that often values individualism and autonomy, the idea of submitting to another can evoke feelings of fear and resistance. Many individuals worry that obedience will lead to a loss of identity or personal freedom. However, it is essential to recognize that true obedience is not about relinquishing one's autonomy but rather about choosing to love and serve others willingly.

Addressing these challenges requires open communication and a spirit of mutual respect. Couples must engage in honest conversations about their expectations and desires, fostering an environment where both partners feel heard and valued. This dialogue can help dispel misconceptions about obedience and highlight its true nature as a collaborative effort rooted in love.

Additionally, it is crucial to remember that obedience should never be equated with blind submission. In situations where obedience may lead to harm or injustice, individuals are called to discern and act according to their conscience. The teachings of the Church emphasize that obedience must always align with the moral law and the teachings of Christ.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Obedience in Marriage

To cultivate a spirit of obedience within marriage, couples can adopt several practical steps that promote open communication, prayer, and mutual support:

  1. Open Communication: Establishing a culture of open dialogue is essential for fostering obedience in marriage. Couples should regularly check in with one another, discussing their needs, desires, and concerns. This practice encourages transparency and builds trust.

  2. Prayer Together: Engaging in prayer as a couple strengthens the spiritual bond and invites God's guidance into the relationship. Praying for one another and seeking God's will together can help couples navigate challenges and deepen their commitment to one another.

  3. Mutual Support: Couples should actively support one another in their individual pursuits and aspirations. This support fosters a sense of partnership and reinforces the idea that obedience is not about control but about uplifting one another.

  4. Modeling Obedience: Parents can model obedience for their children by demonstrating selflessness and service in their relationship. This modeling creates a foundation for children to understand the value of love and mutual respect in their future relationships.

  5. Celebrating Sacrifices: Recognizing and celebrating the sacrifices made for one another reinforces the beauty of obedience. Couples should take time to acknowledge the ways in which they serve one another, fostering gratitude and appreciation.

Conclusion

Obedience is not a dirty word; rather, it is a pathway to deeper love, faith, and community. Through the teachings of St. Benedict, the wisdom of Scripture, and the insights of the Catholic tradition, we come to understand that obedience is a vital aspect of our spiritual journey. In the context of marriage, obedience transforms relationships, fostering unity and mutual support.

As couples embrace the call to obedience, they open themselves to the grace of God, allowing love to flourish in their lives. By cultivating a spirit of obedience, families become living, breathing domestic churches, where faith is nurtured, and love is shared. In this way, obedience becomes a source of strength, enabling individuals and families to respond to the fullness of Christ's call for marriage and family life.

In the words of Pope John Paul II, "The future of humanity passes by way of the family" 9. As families embrace the call to obedience, they contribute to the building of a more just and loving society, rooted in the values of faith and service. Let us not shy away from the call to obedience but embrace it as a beautiful expression of our love for God and one another.

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